A Healthy Break from Motherhood
All mothers deserve some kind of break from motherhood. Whether it’s an afternoon getaway where you get your hair and nails done or a mini-vacation on the weekend with the girls, as a mom you deserve time to yourself where you can just be you for a moment and only focus on yourself! I have made it a priority to create a supportive social circle that grants me mini breaks from motherhood. This circle involves dependable family, friends, and colleagues that understand how important the balance between Romeo, career, and self is to me!
Just when work began to become overwhelming with a recent promotion, I received the longest break from motherhood ever! My son, Romeo, went to visit his family for 4 weeks! I was so excited about this break and I immediately began to plan so many things to do!
However, reality set in and by day 3, I quickly realized how boring my life is without that little crazy ball of energy that I call my son. I fell into a sort of depression. I didn’t have anyone to take care of and I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself. I began to ask: What do people do when they don’t have a child to take care of? I honestly don’t even know how to operate as an adult without my son because I had him at the age of 20. It’s crazy to think that I do not know what being an adult is like without the responsibility of taking care of someone else. It is the weirdest feeling ever!
The time that my son spent with his father and family was extremely important to him and this break was needed for me and my mental health, so I had to suck it up and figure it out. I know I am not the only one that loves to see their little monster leave but at the same time, hates to see them go which is why I have listed some thoughts on what you can do to recharge and not get so down while your child is away.
- Embrace the “Mullet Mama”
I always identify myself as a mullet mama. All business in the front and all party in the back. Spend time checking off those lists and getting to business but also spend time socializing and having fun. Go to parties, go on dates ( with your significant other or meet new people as a single mom), stay out late, go to the adult functions, wear sexy (non-mom) clothes in public and enjoy being an adult without a curfew for a few hours. It’s okay to attend social events for adults when your child is away. If there is one thing that we all can learn from Mullet Mamas is that they don’t care about the judgement of others. And YOU shouldn’t either! You shouldn’t care if people will judge you for having a good time without your child. Some people equate being a good mom with sitting in the house and doing nothing when your child is not present and those who indulge in this belief may not fully understand the full workload of motherhood. This Mullet Mama saying is a funny way for you to get to a serious issue of breaking what society deems as a good mom and finding balance outside of motherhood. Be free Mama!
- Plan Activities that You’ve Always Wanted to Do!
When moving to North Carolina, I downloaded this app called “Meet Up“. This app allows you to meet so many people that have similar interests as you. It is a great way to network and build friendships in a new city. The first thing that I wanted to do was join a co-ed sports team because I really loved playing sports growing up and in college before Romeo. However, my schedule was never conducive to the times that practice, or games would be held and the cost of childcare every week to attend practices and games was brutal. Because Romeo was a way for an extended period of time. I was able to actually play in a flag football game and I had the best time ever! It was so much fun! I met new people, had great exercise, it gave me something to do other than go straight home after work, and it got my mind out of a place of worry. Wherever your interests lie, find some way to do it. You have no excuse now because childcare is not a barrier to fun. Go to that concert, that happy hour, that paint night, that sporting event, that networking mixer, whatever you love! Just do it and enjoy it!
- Be Lazy!
I have enjoyed not doing anything and not thinking about doing anything! Some days, I go home and just binged watch all of the non-cartoon shows that I have been missing out on. “Orange is the New Black” is really interesting! “Game of Thrones” has changed my life! And “Power” is addicting! This is what I’ve been missing out on, while on mommy duty. No Paw Patrol, SpongeBob, Nickelodeon, Disney, or any animation. Just plain ole’ adult comedy, action, and romance with a side of chipotle and wine wrapped up in a blanket! I never realized how much I missed the days of coming home to a clean house that is exactly the way I left it and remains that way all day! Enjoy this time to just chill and relax. Eat your favorite foods and not think about whether your child will like it or not, watch your favorite shows without worrying about the adult content of the show, and just being at peace knowing that the only person you have to worry about is yourself!
Having a break is so important for you and your child. Learn to appreciate breaks and activities that you can do to make yourself feel human outside of motherhood. I promise you that doing the three things above will recharge you and give you a sense of happiness with self!