Do You Want to Be Right, or Do You Want to Get It Right?
I want to ask you, what is more important to you… being the one who is right or making the situation right? The reason I ask this question is that life has a funny way of throwing you into situations where you are constantly having to ask yourself this question and decide whether to be the person who is right or the person who is behind the scenes making the situation right. I have a “Make it Right” Life Lesson that has taught me how to hold my peace, although I may be uncomfortable and maneuver through the chaos for the right resolution. I hope this lesson will help you to do the same.
Lesson “Make It Right”
My son, Romeo, really wanted a pet or a baby brother or sister. I am not exactly sure how he has equated the two but nonetheless, Romeo had this request and was really determined about receiving one or the other. My gut reaction was to say that the answer is “no” to both. I knew that I was right about this for many reasons. One, I knew that I was not ready for baby number two as a single mother who was still trying to understand the current little human that God blessed under my protection; and two, I knew that Romeo was not capable of caring for a pet at that time due to his lack of responsibility.
I had to ask myself, “Do you want to be right or do you want to get it right?” I decided that I wanted to get it right and make this an opportunity for Romeo to learn.
The next time Romeo asked me for a pet or sibling, I decided to give Romeo a boiled egg and told him that this is his baby. I informed Romeo that if he can keep this “baby” alive for 7 days, we will go buy him a pet. Romeo’s eyes lit up. He instructed me to draw a face on his baby and he named it, Fin. “Like a shark fin to symbolize the goal of getting a fish,” he said. Six hours after giving him the boiled egg, I hear a subtle crack hit the floor. And there I found Romeo laying on his back screaming that his baby was dead. Talk about a traumatic day for a child… Birth and a funeral of an egg on the same day.
I grabbed him by the hand and told him in a very firm voice to stand up.
I asked him, “What are you feeling right now?” His response: “Really, really sad & I can’t stop crying.” I brought him in close to me and I told him, “Life can throw you some bad times and it’s okay to be emotional about it but do it on your feet!” Romeo then muscled up some courage and stopped crying. He used this moment to understand what it takes to have a pet and knew that he needed to put more effort in to achieve this goal.
What Romeo learned at that moment is more powerful than what he could have learned if I just wanted to be right and tell him no to his original request for a pet. I gave him the opportunity to figure this out for himself and he worked hard for 2 years and finally achieved his goal and received 2 pet turtles, Dan and Don. I didn’t need to be right at that moment, but I did need to get it right which is what happened.
The next time you find yourself deciding between being right and getting it right. Remember it’s okay to not get the credit for being right or that “told you so” moment. You will stand for what is right and create an environment that will nurture the right resolution for the situation.
Thank you for always striving to get it right, mama!